Note from Author:
Thank you for reading, here is part 3, most likely the last, I hope you enjoyed this mini-series, PLEASE let me know what you thought.
She eyed the vibrating phone in her hand. Luke’s smiling Instagram profile picture staring her in the eyes, mocking. Her heart was pounding harder with each successive melody of the Instagram voice chat. She considered for a moment just letting it ring out. What could he want from her? After he discarded her like that? At this hour? She grew angry and just before the call was about to ring out, she tapped the green icon, accepting the call. She listened in silence, she could hear his breathing, tense and quickened. This silence continued for a few seconds.
“Maddie,” Luke began, his voice was trembling. He sounded like he was crying. Her anger turned to curiosity, and even, concern. Her face relaxed a little from the grimace of disgust and repulsion his call had caused. It was now more a face of disappointment, an expression of compassion, after all, she was far too empathetic for her own good. “Maddie, I-” he began again, stumbling over his words like a child, just like she had the first time she was around him, enchanted, memories of those days months ago when she was so much more stupid. He sniffled through the phone, she was becoming impatient, her kindness had limits, and being called at 1 am on a relaxing evening was one of them.
“Luke, what do you want?” she asked, her voice soft and caring, like that of a teacher being pestered by her student. Ironic, she thought. He began sobbing. She could hear it clearly now. She was very concerned for him, “Luke what’s wrong?” she asked. She didn’t really care or want to know, she wanted him gone from her life for good, forever. She was happy with Michael, she truly loved him, and he loved her, it was not like it was with Luke, she told herself.
“I’m sorry,” he said after a few seconds of nothing but muffled sobs. “I’m so sorry Maddie, I was wrong.” She felt her face grow hot and red as she became angry once again.
“Please shut up Luke, please don’t say that,” she spoke beyond herself, shaking her head. She couldn’t handle this, after all the heartache he caused her, after how mad she was for him, how difficult it was to recover when he tossed her aside. She could feel an anger rising in herself, a deep desire to tell him to fuck off and block him, but something was stopping her. Memories. “It’s too late now,” she told him frankly. “I-” she thought for a moment, “have a boyfriend Luke,” her voice was cold, though in it one could hear a great sadness. There was silence on the other end.
“That day, when I threw you out,” he began, “when I said I was leaving, do you remember, I stumbled?” he asked. Indeed she remembered, the entire conversation was stuck in her mind, like a DVD rented in the 90s which was never returned and now collected dust in the attic. “I told you I was leaving because I had a girlfriend, I said it was for her, but I wanted to say,” he paused, “I wanted to say it was because of you.” She was taken aback by this. Why was this happening? Was this funny to him? To torment a young girl like this? To break her heart and when she finally puts it together, to barge in and break it all over? Once again there was silence.
“Why are you telling me this?” her voice was weak and pathetic, barely a whisper.
“I love you,” his words travelled through the air exiting her phone and slapping her in the face.
“No,” she whispered, “no.”
“I was trapped in my relationship, I felt bad, when I was with you it felt real, it felt amazing. But I didn’t want to cheat on my girlfriend, so I left because of you. I knew I could never get you out of my mind,” they were both crying, they could hear each other’s soft sobs. Was he telling the truth? “But when I arrived, I found out she was cheating on me, even before, when I was there, I just couldn’t see it, she was fucking everyone around behind my back,” he said with disdain in his voice.
“So you came crawling back to me!?” she asked, offended through her tears, her voice shaky and uncertain. “Your girl cheated on you so you came back to miss number two? I remember what you told me, that I was just a stupid teenager, and there was never any-” she was cut off.
“I lied,” his tone was serious. She was silent. “I didn’t want to tell you the truth, that when you said you loved me, I wanted to say it too.”
She felt herself breathing quicker, her chest rising and falling, her face covered in briny tears. Closing her eyes she breathed in through her nose, she felt her mind rushing, its been years since she’s had an anxiety attack.
“Please go,” she whispered.
“Maddie, I’m sorry,” he told her.
“Please,” she repeated. Her words were laboured as she felt herself on the edge of breaking down. There was silence.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said and hung up. The silence, the lack of white noise stinging her ears. It was no more than 3 izmit rus escort seconds before she began weeping. Her entire body convulsing as she flooded her pillow with tears. The heartache of the months past returning all at once like a brick to the head.
She felt so confused, broken. She didn’t know what to believe, what to think. Can one love two people at once? Did she love Luke? Where did that put Michael? Was Michael simply a consolation? Surely not? Was Luke telling the truth? Was this why their kiss lingered in her mind? How he touched her, how every place his fingers went she could still feel his skin on hers. She could imagine his burning lips on her neck, and then on her own lips. The memories were painful, yet beautiful.
The following week was painful. Each waking moment filled with deep sadness and guilt. When she was with Michael she felt like crying, she felt so bad, disloyal, to see another man this way. She avoided his gaze, pulled away from his touch. He knew something was wrong, but knew better than to ask, he gave her space, time. It only made her more guilty, to know someone loved her this much, who cared about her, and yet her only memories were those of another.
Every day opening her phone she wished both that there would be a message from Luke waiting, and that one would never come. Days passed and the tension in her grew. The desire to be held by Luke, but also the desire to be loyal to Michael. There was no way around it. She loved them both. Truly, honestly and genuinely, but it could not be. Every day these conflicting feelings broke her more, the spiral deepened, simple tasks became difficult. She was at the breaking point.
It was a regular Wednesday, or rather, as regular as days were now, filled with doubt, guilt, desire and pain. At every step, she could feel she was only a small push from having a full-blown mental breakdown right here in the middle of her college. She avoided everyone, spoke little, did only the bare minimum. Like this, the day passed slowly, but they did pass, and that gave her hope that a few more days passed and she would recover, forget, heal.
After her final lesson, she wasted no time leaving the college complex and beginning her walk home. As she walked, thoughts of Luke filled her mind, how months ago on a regular day like this, she went to meet her new tutor, how that meeting changed her life. She felt herself on the verge of crying as her journey was altered, heading to the harbour. She wanted to stand there for a moment, think. As her pace quickened she could feel raindrops, first small comfortable drops making the stuffy June evening bearable. Soon the raindrops became large, cold. The day was so hot she had only a thin cardigan over her white shirt. This was the trigger. She was running toward the harbour, soaked, crying, no longer in control of her emotions, letting it all out. The wind blew angrily throwing volleys of cold raindrops at her, they stung her face.
She stood there on the quay, soaking wet. The yachts and small boats rattling against each other in the wind. The calm waters of the small harbour now a deep and dangerous ocean. Just like on the day she was thrown out. She wept and sobbed out loud, nobody would hear her over the constant murmur of the heavy rain. She felt alone. Why did this happen to her?
But she was not alone. Off to her right, on the quay in the direction of the town centre, he stood there. A dark umbrella above his head, in his hand a bag of groceries. Luke. His eyes were fixed on her, his face one of surprise. He saw her face was wet, but her eyes were red. Shaking himself awake, he quickly walked close, she lurched at him, her arms around him, sobbing loudly. There was not a dry thread on her.
“I’m sorry,” she cried into his chest, depositing tears and rainwater into his sweater. “I’m sorry,” she repeated, her voice muffled, buried into him.
“It’s okay,” he assured her, “don’t worry.” He paused, considering his words. “Do you want to go inside?” he asked, his tone uncertain, “Youll get ill.” Looking up, her hands still around his body, her red eyes staring into his, tears rolling down her face, she nodded pathetically like a child. She moved to his side, putting his arm around her protectively they walked to his accommodation, the rain falling ever harder around them. At this moment, it was just the two of them, in silence, the world around a million miles away behind a veil of cold summer rain. It was perfect.
The lift was broken. In continued silence, they ascended the stairs, entered the flat and then his room. Luke walked over to the heater and turned it on, it was a small radiator which had one of those annoying switches, allowing to be switched on for only 2 hours at a time. After this, he opened a couple of drawers in a cabinet and pulled out a large T-Shirt and a pair of shorts as well as a fresh towel, he handed them to Maddie.
“I don’t have anything else, sorry,” izmit escort he told her, she hesitated, “they’re clean, don’t worry,” he laughed slightly. She took the clothing and held it in her small wet hands, a puddle forming on the ground where she stood. “You know where the bathroom is,” he said, “I’ll make some tea, you must be really cold. When you’re done but your stuff on the radiator,” he smiled warmly, and left. She stood there for a moment in that same room once more. Only now she noticed the scent again, his perfume, that smell that made her go crazy months ago, it was back. She turned around and entered the small bathroom. That bathroom in which she cried when he told her to clean herself up that day. It seemed like a lucid dream now. She locked the door. Placing the clean clothes on the toilet she looked herself in the mirror.
She really did look pathetic, she sighed at the way she looked and acted. “This is so stupid,” she told herself, her tone serious and disappointed. She first took off her shoes and then peeled away the cardigan letting it fall to the ground with a wet slump. Her white shirt was almost transparent, her bra showing clearly below. She blushed. Did Luke see? Did she want him to see? She unbuttoned her shirt, letting it also fall to the ground. Unclipping her bra she released her ample breasts and bent down slightly undoing her skirt letting it fall along her shapely legs to join the other clothes on the ground. She heard the door to the room open and the sound of two mugs being placed on the desk.
“You alright in there?” Luke asked.
“Yeah,” she responded, though inside she was full of shame, regret and guilt. She now stood in only her panties and white socks, the only parts of her that were still dry. Taking the towel she began wiping her body drying her soft skin. She then took to drying her hair as best she could without a dryer, staring herself in her deep blue eyes as she did so. She turned to put on the T-shirt Luke gave her, it was far too large for her petite body, almost like a dress. It fell around her accentuating her breasts and hips. She put on the shorts, the leg holes comically large for her small legs. Luke was so much larger than her. She pulled them up and pulling the strings as tight as she could, they still slipped down. She considered for a second. The shirt was as long as a dress on her, almost reaching her knees, it would have to do.
Holding her wet clothes she turned the lock and opened to door. Her hair was still moist and though naturally straight, as they dried this way they became slightly wavy. She cautiously stepped into the room. Luke was sitting at his desk on his phone, in front of him two steaming cups of tea and roll of Tesco brand chocolate digestives. He lifted his eyes from his phone, his gaze falling onto Maddie’s shapely body, her beautiful smooth legs, blushing he quickly turned away.
“I gave you some shorts,” he told her.
“They’re too big,” she responded softly, her voice one of shame.
“I can see if I have another pair maybe,” he offered.
“No no, it’s okay, your shirt is really big,” she laughed softly and walked toward the desk. He returned his gaze, it felt so silly now. They had been naked in front of each other, they had done so many things, gone so far, and now a bit of skin made them both uncomfortable as though they were only children again. They both felt terribly awkward, sipping their teas in silence, sitting opposite each other. Luke broke the silence.
“Are you alright?” his question though banal held so much weight and was so specific despite being one of the most common English greetings. She could feel herself growing sad again. Tears formed in her eyes. As one rolled down her cheek, she wiped it away.
“No,” she uttered, her voice laboured her breath staggered. Softly, cautiously, he reached out his strong arm and placed his hand on her shoulder. She didn’t stop him. She was inhaling sharply through her nose, holding her hand to her face as sobbed against her will.
“What’s wrong?” he asked in a warm tone, concerned. “You can talk to me.”
“You,” her response was short and came after a short yet significant silence. She looked him directly in the eyes. “You are what’s wrong,” she looked back down, ashamed. “I can’t think straight anymore, I don’t know what to think,” her words still quiet and soft. “How can I love you both?” she finally said what has been stuck in her mind the entire week, what has been tormenting her. He clenched his jaw, but it was no good, he couldn’t keep up a facade forever. As she looked up she saw tears in his eyes. In those eyes, she saw the same pain, that same guilt, that same desire to go back to a different time when all as fine. Standing up from her stool she embraced him deeply. He stood up to meet her, their arms wrapped around each other and they cried together. She retreated slightly, her arms still around him, her face on his chest. “I still love you Luke,” her words warm and genuine. She kocaeli escort looked up at him.
“I love you too,” he answered. She felt a deep wamth inside her, a joy as for the first time this week she was truly, happy. She moved her hands so they were behind his neck, and his hands moved along her figure down to her waist. They stared at each other, happy faces, tears of pain turning to tears of joy. Reaching up she placed her lips on his. Their faces so close once more, everything she had remembered, it was like then, but better. As their tongues played witch each other her nostrils were filled by the scent of his manly perfume and the herbal aroma of Earl Grey tea which filled the room. His hands gently pressed her against his body through the shirt she was wearing, the sensation making her legs weak, her mind blank as the only image was him. Their kiss deepened, tears spilling out of her eyes. They took only short breaths before going back in, her hands now at the sides of his face, his arms holding her as progressively they leaned further back, his face directly above her’s in such a perfect embrace.
She could feel her nipples harden and that familiar wetness between her legs as his hands got greedier. They broke their kiss for a moment, he held her there in his strong arms, suspended in the air, her damp hair falling behind her as though on a renaissance painting.
“You want this?” he asked, he wanted to be clear.
“Yes,” she whispered, “Yes, Luke please,” she moaned as their lips met again for a final passionate kiss. As their lips parted he looked her over, her nipples peeking from below the shirt. She looked so different, so youthful; her petite body covered only by a loose shirt perfectly exposing her natural beauty, barely reaching her long, smooth legs; her brown hair, still damp falling freely around her head; her sad pretty face longing for another kiss. It was all perfect, as though designed for a purpose by a great craftsman.
“You’re so beautiful,” he told her, as he held her ass, pulling her in. She blushed. His hands moved to her front, wandering below the shirt. His hands touched her bare skin, working their way up. Her skin was covered in goosebumps as his fingers traced the length of her body making her moan. As he reached her breasts he began kissing her neck. He momentarily cupped them before his hands moved further up, dragging the shirt with them, eventually pulling it off entirely. He eyed her beautiful naked torso, she was still blushing as he pushed her onto the bed, removing his shirt. Maddie’s eyes wandered across his perfect body, the shapes of his abs, the breadth of his chest and arms. He bent over the top of her, between her legs, their chests touching as he kissed her further. Beaking their kiss, his lips wandered to her breasts, they were hungry. He fondled her breasts, kissing her nipples, sucking on them. Soft gasps of pleasure left her mouth as he pushed his entire upper body with each squeeze of her breasts, each swirl of his tongue his powerful arms sending her sensitive breasts to heaven.
Stopping his work, panting heavily he kissed her more, each kiss on her neck and breasts as hot as before; she would remember them forever. He was so passionate, so erotic, his movements so perfect as they pleased every inch of her. Standing up, he unbuckled his belt and lowered his trousers, kicking them to the side he came back down, resuming his work on her breasts. This time his left hand had wandered between her legs, gently rubbing her pussy through the thin cloth of her panties. Again his entire upper body working with each stroke of his fingers as pleasure shot through her body. Whatever she did before with Luke, it was amazing, but this, this completely passionate and love-filled experience, it was special, so different, her arousal never before being greater.
He retreated from her body, hooking his fingers behind her panties, he was about to pull them down along her beautiful smooth legs when he felt her touch on his hands. She was hesitating, this time it was her who was unsure.
“You can tell me to stop,” he said. Their movements ceased, though both still panting. She thought for a moment.
“No,” she answered, her voice a gentle moan. Her hands moving from his onto the bedsheets. He tugged on her panties gently, the wetness of her pussy sticking to the fabric her juices suspended in the air as he pulled them down. She was now wearing nothing but her cute little white socks. Dropping her panties onto the floor he immediately dove in with his mouth, kissing her pussy lips, licking the length of her entrance. Her hands grasped the bedsheets as his tongue ventured deeper, as his lips touched her clit, the entirety of his face buried between her legs, making love to her. She felt her entire body moving to his rhythm. She was so wet. She moaned and gasped for air as his tongue danced a romantic tango with her pussy.
With one final kiss, he got up onto his feet. Standing over her like a statue, she saw his large dick struggling against the fabric of his boxers. It was just like last time, she was here again, as he removed his underwear she saw the first dick she ever sucked, on that day. She was scared. Would it happen this time?