“Ellie. I’m so sorry. I hated to see that look on your face… and to think that I put it there. I feel awful.”
Gavin’s apology sounded genuine enough. He certainly did seem sorry. Ellie could understand why. It must have been quite a pitiful sight… her crumbling and drowning there in a sea of humiliation right before his eyes.
So, he’s not a total monster then. He’s capable of pity. And guilt. The thing is that pity and guilt wasn’t what she wanted from him. She’d wanted him so badly that she hadn’t realized that he’d been trying to brush her off. And that from his perspective he had to eventually relent and bed her. And now he regretted it. And boy, oh boy, did she regret it.
Ellie did know that there was an alternative scenario to consider. That he had genuinely wanted her and his ego was hurt by her being the one to sneak out. He was used to charming his way back out of his lovers’ beds – and when she’d beaten him to the punch, he had wanted to make sure he’d had the last word. It didn’t make perfect sense – as he was now apologizing – but he’d jammed the humiliation switch in her brain to the on position with his harsh words, and with Ellie’s history she couldn’t help but feel he had rejected her.
It briefly occurred to her that he might have feelings for her and that she’d hurt more than his ego by sneaking out in the morning without saying goodbye. But she quickly brushed the thought aside. Silly girl. You’ve already been emotionally smashed to pieces by this guy you hardly know… surely you’re not going to put yourself out there again to give him another go at you? On the very same day, no less?
OK Ellie. Try to extract yourself from this interaction with some dignity, will you?
“Look Gavin. Thanks for the apology but I really didn’t appreciate the way you spoke to me and I don’t want to see you again, alright?”
Gavin was silent on the other end of the phone. Ellie imagined him chuckling silently to himself at her expense. He never said he wanted to see you again, did he? She hung up.
He was heartbroken. She didn’t know. At least she didn’t know until she started getting the pleading voicemail messages. He wanted to explain. He begged for forgiveness. He just wanted to talk to her face to face so she could see that he meant it.
Well – too bad, buster. If he did care for her taksim grup yapan escort and was still willing to say the cruelest thing he could think of, then he wasn’t the man for her. Ellie had been there, and done that, and couldn’t possibly enter into that kind of relationship ever again. That damaged part of her that she thought had been healed had actually just been forgotten. That was until he brought it all crashing back into her consciousness with one malicious sentence.
The next day at work she had tried to explain to Claudia, who seemed determined not to understand what the problem was.
“So you had a great night – including amazing sex – with a lovely, sweet, handsome man that you’ve wanted ever since you met? Then he found you sneaking out without saying goodbye. He was upset and let you know that. Then you left and he rang to apologize to you and you hung up on him?”
“Yes Claudia, we’ve been through this a number of times. Technically that’s what happened, but you don’t understand.”
“Technically? Damn straight I don’t understand. Call him Ellie and tell him you’re sorry. Work it out. I’ve never seen you so happy as you have been since you met Gavin.”
Ellie sighed and went out for lunch. When she got back she bumped into Gavin as she backed through the door with her shopping. She knew very well it was Claudia’s doing, but there was no time to tell her off. Ellie had to work out how to react to Gavin.
When their eyes met any ability to think about her reaction was stripped away by the intensity of his expression. He reached out to steady her and she felt a bolt of electricity travel into her groin. Her lips parted involuntarily as he held her gaze. She managed to stop the sigh that was fighting to escape her lips but couldn’t tear her eyes away from his.
It was obvious to her that he had noted her physical reaction to his presence and instead of speaking he just reveled in seeing her so aroused. Just at the moment when she felt she couldn’t resist him any longer and was about to jump up and wrap her legs around his waist, the bell on the door clanked as a customer entered the shop. And the spell was temporarily broken.
Ellie managed to avoid speaking to Gavin that day, and in fact spent part of each day for the rest of the week avoiding taksim masöz escort him at the shop. It was difficult, but after that first time, she’d prepared herself better. Each day he put in a little less time as he thought he wasn’t getting anywhere.
On the second night, after experiencing that bolt of electricity she got just from eye contact with Gavin, Ellie felt that she couldn’t take the sexual frustration any longer. She called Travis. He was more than willing to help her out. When he’d walked into the flat and found her mostly naked he unzipped his pants and only got them halfway down his legs before he discovered how wet she already was and immediately eased himself into her. He moved slowly at first and lovingly kissed and fondled her as he went but soon lost control and was grinding her hard against the cool tiled floor.
She’d been ready to orgasm for two days and this was exactly what she needed. Travis was big and so hard and when she felt him pulsating on the verge of coming himself, she was about to go over the edge.
“Oh my god Gavin you feel so good,” she panted.
Then he was moaning and shooting his load hard right up her – and saying, “What? Who?” all at once.
He’d sounded so sad and she’d come immediately crashing back to Earth without reaching climax.
“It doesn’t matter Trav. I’m sorry.”
“I’m the one that should be sorry Ellie, you didn’t come, did you? Let me give you a hand.”
He used the fingers of one hand to massage her clit and ground two fingers of the other hand deep inside her. She lifted her hips off the bed and set the pace with her erratic movements. He knew exactly what to do and could feel how close she was.
“Come for me baby.” And she did – almost.
Dammit, she thought. She relaxed her hips back onto the floor and took a few breaths as he continued the perfect rhythm and whispered his encouragement into her left ear.
She put all her focus into trying to reach completion and even moved his hand off her clitoris and took over that part with her own fingers – but it was no good. She couldn’t get there and was left feeling more frustrated than she’d ever been in her life.
Fucking Gavin. She could slap him. She could beat him. She could ride that hard cock until he gave her what she needed – whether taksim otele gelen escort he wanted to or not. But she wouldn’t of course. Wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Wouldn’t risk being hurt again.
Gavin visited the shop the next day too and almost brought her to orgasm with the intensity of his gaze, which seemed to have a direct line to her pussy. Ellie used every trick in her book to avoid talking to him and then Travis visited her flat and almost brought her to orgasm again. And that’s how it went on for days.
By Saturday afternoon Ellie wondered if her legs were going to continue to hold her upright. It didn’t seem possible to suffer this degree of arousal and not be somehow incapacitated by it. Actually, come to think of it, it didn’t seem fair for her arousal to feel like suffering at all.
She’d let Travis down easy on Friday night and explained what had happened with Gavin. He wasn’t angry and was only a little sad — they’d both known and accepted that their relationship was over long ago. They had parted on good terms.
She was in the storeroom stacking books, feeling grateful for Trav’s good nature when Gavin entered. He intended to make one final attempt to get her to talk to him. When she tried to slip past him out the door he grabbed her wrists in desperation and pinned her to the wall.
He tried to speak but couldn’t get any words out when he saw the look of unmitigated desire on her face. Her mouth had fallen open and he reached down to kiss her instead. She lost control of herself and accepted his tongue into her mouth and gently suckled on it as he moaned with the unexpected pleasure.
When he forced his knee between her thighs the frustration of the last few days peaked and she suddenly came. Hard. He held her and continued to kiss her as she ground against his leg and, as the orgasmic waves eventually subsided, he felt her rigid body soften against him.
“I love you,” he whispered.
That snapped her out of it. She knew then that he was bullshitting her and that she most certainly couldn’t trust him.
“How dare you use those words to manipulate me!”
“I’m not Ellie! I’m not. I swear. Please trust me. I wouldn’t lie about this. Please.”
As she crumbled into a sobbing heap on the storeroom floor and Claudia came rushing in to help, Gavin realized that there was more going on than he knew and that it was pointless trying to understand her.
He left, shaking his head and feeling grief-stricken in the knowledge that he had to leave his love alone to work through her emotions without him. There was nothing more he could do.
At least he’d had the chance to finally tell her the truth.