I would have liked to have announced that I had the strength of character and will to walk away from Mrs. Looper after visiting her that day, but what is trained into a young mind is often impossible to change. I had to face this reality that day when I returned to her. I needed that red ball in my mouth. I needed to throw my arms back and watch her de-pant me on that same bed. In fact, when she removed my underwear my penis sprang up stiff and bright red. This made me blush. I obviously had become excited by her earlier words and actions, but to my dejection the sight of my engorged member seemed to signal filth to her. She pulled back in disgust.
“This, I will not stand for!” she suddenly exclaimed.
I looked down at myself and then back up at her several times in ball-gagged horror! I tried to communicate my innocence by raising my eyebrows and holding out my hands, as if to say “I can’t help it”, but her annoyance continued to peak.
“Do you think I’m going to put up with dirty behavior!” she ranted, her missionary zeal for cleanliness still as fanatical as before.
Apparently, Mrs. Looper equated excited male sex parts with dirt. She pulled me up from the bed then and led me to the bathroom, my erection bouncing as we went. I was struck by a feeling of deja vu. I was the offending, dirty, young man again!
“I thought you were familiar enough with the rules by now to know better than this, Jeremy!” she continued to chastise.
She turned on the shower and left her hand under it, waiting for the water to meet her approval. Then she turned back to me and took my shirt off. She guided me into the shower by the arm as she had years before and the coldness of the water made me shout.
“Oh! That’s cold!” I said as I jumped and hugged myself.
“Yes it is! And it will teach you a lesson! There will be no perversion in my house!”
Then she turned me to face the water and it cascaded down in a numbing deluge onto my stomach and over my engorged genitalia. I tried to think back to my previous time with her. Hadn’t I ever gotten hard before? After a few minutes, my body started to shiver, but my penis stayed wrought iron straight.
“So now that you’re a grown man you think this kind of debauchery is acceptable?!” she charged.
I moaned pathetically around the ball gag. I was actually ashamed of myself now. Ten minutes and fifty gallons of water later, my erection began to subside and then go flaccid. After this she soaped up a washcloth and worked it over my ass, thighs and stomach, with the water remaining ice cold the whole time. I stood at attention and shivered through the long process. Finally, she rinsed me and turned off the water. She surveyed my body again and shook her head.
“How could your girlfriend allow you to remain so unkempt!” she stated, referring to the abundance of pubic hair on and around my groin.
I shook my head. I had become much hairier down there in the intervening years.
“That will have to be corrected immediately!”
She went and got a razor and a bottle of baby oil from under the sink after this and had me lay down in the tub with my legs pulled up into my stomach. This exposed all of my man parts to her and she oiled them thoroughly as my breathing quickened. Her fingers delved down along my hairy perineum and tumbled over my anus before massaging the oil into my furry scrotum and moving up to soak my hairy pubic mound into a slimy mass. My breathing became even quicker when she set the razor down on my ball skin and started stirring it up my scrotal raphe. I had never imagined that the saggy skin down there could be successfully shaved without cuts, but Mrs. Looper navigated me adroitly as she then shifted to my ass crack and finally my upper pubic region until I was as smooth and bald as a young bird down there. She soaped me up again between my legs and let the cold water rain down on me again. After I was rinsed she helped me up and dried me with a big fluffy towel. She stepped back and admired her work then.
“Now this is a clean helper!” she announced, pridefully.
She led me back into the bedroom by the hand after this with my groin now completely de-featured of any signs of potency or any kind of manly traits. She had a self-satisfied smile as she guided me to the bed and laid me down. I had to admit, I felt better, too. She pushed my legs back and rubbed some baby lotion on my denuded ass and sex parts and it was immediately evident from her strange smile that she was enjoying running her hand over the new “clean” me. It was amazing from my perspective as well. I felt like all my adult troubles had been removed by that razor and by the steady pressure of Mrs. Looper’s hand. I was exposed and completely honest again. There was no need for any more posturing.
She brought the diaper out next and it was the new kind, made from cotton, paper and plastic. It was also huge! When she opened it up and put it under me I let out a sigh that with the ball gag sounded like a moan.
“You like it! Sure you do!” she said, no doubt karşıyaka escort thinking of me as her long dead son.
The feeling of this cool, soft diaper around my bare groin gave me a sexual rush. I can only compare it to my first time inside a vagina, but instead of just my cock, it was holding all of me. I wanted to come inside it then, and I knew if Mrs. Looper rubbed me through the diaper or put me on her lap, I might lose control. This was the only safe way for me to express my sexuality now. I intuitively understood that. Sex for me was going to be more of a mental experience from here on. It was going to be the situation that would matter the most, the power relationship. Was I going to tell her she had given me my first erection in years? No. She didn’t want to think of me that way, as a man. And to be honest, I didn’t want to think that way about myself.
“Did you want to go out for a walk?” she asked me when she got me up from the bed.
I didn’t know how to answer this. With your mouth gagged there are only two replies you can make. A nod or a shake of the head. I wanted to ask a qualifying question, but not being able to, I nodded. She helped me put my pants back on (barely because of the size of the diaper!) and then my shirt. Then she led me to the kitchen and put on her kerchief as I put on my shoes. She didn’t like the direct sun. I remembered that. She took off my ball gag last and put it in the pocket of her slacks. Then we went through the living room and stepped out the front door! I took a big breath as she closed the door behind us. This was crazy. What if someone saw us? What if my mother wandered out of her house and called us over? My diaper rustled loudly as we headed down the walkway of her yard. Then she took my hand when we got to the sidewalk and guided me to the left, away from my house. I felt relief, but then she immediately waved to Mrs. McCrory from across the street.
“How are you today?” Mrs. Looper called out to her.
“Just fine! And you?”
“Just getting my exercise with my neighbor, Jeremy!” she called back.
“”Oh, is that Jeremy! How are you! Haven’t seen you in years! All grown up now!” she cackled.
I felt my anal sphincter tighten.
“Hello Mrs. McCrory. How’s Joe doing?” I replied tersely.
“Oh, he’s doing well. He just got a promotion!” she boasted.
“Good for him!. Tell him I said Hi.”
We continued to the end of the block and turned left. Mrs. Looper was beaming. It seemed she was in her element now. It wasn’t long before we encountered another neighbor she knew watering her front lawn.
“Hello Sally!” she beckoned to the woman dressed in a red and white polka dot blouse and jean shorts.
“Ellen! How have you been?” she replied as she dropped her hose and walked over to us.
“I’m well. This is Jeremy. Susan’s son.”
“Hello Jeremy.” she said with a warm nod.
“Hi.” I replied with a wave and a smile, not really remembering her.
“Jeremy has returned to us after several years away in California!” Mrs. Looper informed her.
“How interesting! Is it as nice out there as they say?” she inquired.
“Sure, if you don’t mind the mudslides and forest fires and earthquakes!” I said in an attempt at glibness.
“Well, no matter how far they go- they still need to come back home to get their diapers changed!” Mrs. Looper interjected like a slap.
I blushed deeply and my mortification must have shown. There was a short awkward silence. And then, thankfully, Sally laughed.
“Haa! Yes! I know what you mean!” she replied.
I forced a laugh as well.
“We just need to cure them of the dirty habits they pick up along the way!” Mrs. Looper continued.
“Yes! Exactly! My son started vaping after moving out. I hate it!”
“Send him to me. I’ll cure him!” Mrs. Looper offered.
“Okay! It’s a deal!” the woman confirmed.
We waved good-bye and continued then.
“How’s your diaper feeling?” she asked when we were just out of earshot.
“Good.” was all I said.
However, that was a lie. It actually felt wonderful beyond words! The feeling of my newly shaved sex parts against the padded, cotton/microfiber of it made every step a sensual experience. And I was sure it made my ass bulge with its squared off bulk and was visible beneath my pants. Sally, the gardener, must have noticed it. But somehow I was caring less and less about public opinion now.
We turned left again at the end of the block and went into Shatzman’s corner store that always smelled like newspapers and chewing gum. Mrs. Shatzman was there behind the counter.
“Hello Mrs. Looper!” she greeted with her German accent.
Hello Frau Shatzman! How is business?” Mrs. Looper answered back.
“It is gute!”
“Wunderbar!” she replied, “Do you still have apple strudel from this morning?”
“I’ll take a dozen and my helper here will take a cherry soda!”
She moved closer to the counter after this and said kartal escort something in German to the woman. The big lady nodded before reaching down and coming up with a small package. Mrs. Looper took it and put it in her pocket.
“How much do I owe you, Frau?” Mrs. Looper asked as the woman put the pastries into a box.
“Five dollars and fifty cents.”
She paid her with exact change.
“My helper will carry the strudel.” she told the woman.
As we walked away I asked her about what she had purchased from under the counter. She gave me a sharp look.
“Watch your manners, Jeremy! There are things in this world that are none of your business!”
We continued around the block holding hands, with her giving me swigs from the soda bottle, until we had come full circle and found ourselves in front of my family home. This was where she stopped again.
“I’d like to go in and say hello to your mother.” she announced.
I looked at her in stark disbelief.
“Because I haven’t spoken to her in quite some time.”
“But why do I have to be there?”
“Because it would be a very nice reunion and give us a chance to reminisce.”
My testicles shank. Our walk had been exciting up until that point. I’d been getting a sexual charge from her control, but now I was getting hit with cold water again.
“That’s okay. I’ll leave and come back.” I suggested.
She squeezed my hand tightly and began to pull me down the walkway to my door.
“No! You won’t! And you won’t use her bathroom either! Do you hear me! Don’t embarrass me!”
She was testing me again! I knew it. I went along with her just in case my mother was watching. We walked into the side davenport and she knocked on the glass paned kitchen door. My mother answered in her usual genial way.
“Oh, look who’s come to see me! How are you, Ellen!”
“I just thought I’d bring your son back to you!” she explained.
My mother laughed in that very light and lilting way she had.
“Was he lost?!”
We went in and sat down at the kitchen table while my mother made the coffee.
“Jeremy was saying how much he misses your cooking.” Mrs. Looper commented.
“Oh sure! That’s why he moved three thousand miles away!” my mother rejoined with good-natured, self-deprecation.
“You should be proud of this one!” she continued, “He came over and spoke his mind to me like a real man!”
Was she being sardonic now? I sat there like a nervous guest.
“Well, he IS a real man now! Doing all that Silicon Valley stuff!”
“Oh sure! And I told him he has us to thank for his success!”
“Sure he does!” my mother agreed with a big smile.
“Remember when he was having troubles with bed wetting?”
I began to shrink down.
“Oh yes. It was very late onset.” my mother stopped to recall.
“Yes, it got so bad I had to have him wear diapers when he came over to work for me! But now look at him!”
“Oh really? He never mentioned that…”
They were both speaking completely around me now. Like I wasn’t even there!
“Ah, can we talk about something else now?” I cut in.
My mother served the coffee and we opened the box of strudel.
“It was all part of his journey!” my mother waxed philosophical as she took a seat.
They talked for an hour about our old neighbors and John F. Kennedy and cooking recipes and some time during all this jabbering I realized I had to pee. I looked at Mrs. Looper and tried to communicate with my eyes since using the bathroom in my own house wasn’t an option according to her. She didn’t respond and only continued to yammer on about her knick knack collection. At the two hour mark I felt a jet of urine shoot from me into the diaper. I tightened my muscles back up and held it for five more minutes before the stream just let loose. It flowed for a full minute, adding easily a pound or two in weight to my diaper. I sat on the warm, soggy mound and prayed none of the urine had leaked out.
“Jeremy, what is it? You look queasy?” Mrs. Looper observed cruelly then.
My hand shook as I brought the coffee cup away from my mouth. She knew my diaper was full.
“Who me? I’m fine.” I insisted with a lost expression.
“Well, we better be going.” she announced suddenly, “Jeremy wants to take me for a ride in his rent-a-car!”
But how was I going to get up and leave without my mother noticing my huge, saggy diaper? As they both rose I blurted a request with the idea that it would buy me enough time to get out the door.
“Mom, do you have any band-aids? I have a hangnail.” I asked, pretending to tend to my finger.
“Oh, don’t worry, Jeremy. I have some at my house.” Mrs. Looper cut in.
I had to get up then and hug my mother. As I did she looked down at me with deep concern.
“Jeremy! What happened?!” she said, “Are you wearing a diaper?!”
“Oh my, did he had another accident!” Mrs. Looper chimed.
I flushed bright kastamonu escort red and looked around in lost confusion.
“Are you still wetting yourself?” my mother asked me.
“Dorothy, he’s been having trouble for some time.” Mrs. Looper revealed.
I could only stand there speechless in my shame.
“Oh my god, Jeremy! Why didn’t you tell me!” my mother said with disappointment, “Do you need to use the bathroom?”
“I don’t believe so.” Mrs. Looper observed, “That diaper looks pretty full to me.”
“Oh Jeremy! Why didn’t you go to the doctor!”
I just shook my head and felt trembling emotions rise in me. I started to cry.
“It’s okay, Sweetheart! We’ll get you changed and clean!” Mrs. Looper assured with a pat of my butt.
My mother seemed a bit confused by this statement.
“You change him?” she asked.
“Well, I think it helps him feel better about his condition and gives him a sense of acceptance.” Mrs. Looper told her as we moved toward my old room.
Finally I spoke up.
“No! I don’t want you to change me!” I whined as I stopped.
“Why don’t we let him go to his room and do it himself?” my mother suggested.
“Dorothy, we don’t want to increase his sense of secrecy!” she explained to her as if I wasn’t there, “He needs to know we accept this openly!”
My mother acquiesced and we proceeded into my room.
“Just get two bath towels and lay them on the bed.” Mrs. Looper directed.
My mother got them and laid them on my bed one on top of the other. Mrs. Looper tried to guide me to the bed, but I resisted.
“No! I can change myself! I protested, not wanting to lose all my face in front of my mother.
“Jeremy! Stop!” my mother ordered, “Let her do it!”
And there it was, just as it had been in childhood. She had buckled to the advice of Mrs. Looper again!
I allowed her to lay me down after this. She took my shoes and pants off and un-taped the sagging sandbag of a diaper and lifted it straight up in the air like a prize catch. My mother took it from her and delivered it to the bathroom trash.
“I just need a warm washcloth with some soap on it, Dorothy.” she called to her.
My mother returned with what she asked for and sat down on the bed next to my head as Mrs. Looper rubbed away at my denuded groin like a midwife. I hid my face behind my hands and continued to whine.
“That’s good enough!” I cried impatiently.
“Do you want me to get a pair of my husband’s underwear for him?” my mother inquired.
“No, I’ve got a diaper in my purse.”
Mrs.Looper handed my mother the washrag then and went down into her bag and produced a clean diaper.
“Wow! They make them big now!” my mother said as she reached out and examined it, “So soft!”
“Yes, these are special order adult diapers.”
I felt like I didn’t exist as an adult anymore. Mrs. Looper pushed back on my heels and lifted my butt and my mother slid the diaper under me. She brought the top flap over my shriveled member and balls and taped the sides after that.
“And there we are! Good as new!” Mrs. Looper exclaimed with pride.
“So how did you find out so much about this condition?” my mother asked her.
“Well, after the war I was a nurse and I saw a lot of these cases come in…”
And so they engaged again in their idle girl talk as I lay there desperately trying to melt through the floor. Only ten minutes before I had been a respected man of the world and now here I was reduced to a harmless charge. It would all be over soon I tried to assure myself as I continued to hide my face. But why then was Mrs. Looper still touching me down there? She kept poking me in the area at the base of my diaper just above my anus. I looked down and saw that she was patting me like women pat the rear ends of kids they’ve changed. I whined again and the patting persisted. What was she trying to do? They were hard, steady pokes now! She was even rubbing her finger up and down my bare, hyper-sensitive scrotum through the silky smoothness of the diaper in a covert way! My mother noticed none of it as she jabbered away to her about nursing and pressed her hip against my flank. I squeezed my butt cheeks and lifted them as the tapping started to tickle and feel strange. Mrs. Looper’s fingers got busier then. I twisted and whined and my mother tried to quiet me.
“Shhhh!” she said, seeming annoyed that I was interrupting their conversation.
I got flushed suddenly as the tickling intensified and a shutter moved up in me. Christ! I realized then I was going to come! I turned my head toward my mother as my tremor peaked and moaned as softly as I could.
“Shhhhhhhh!” she quieted me again with more insistence as my ass and cock pulsed for what seemed like minutes.
I buried my face against her thigh then and rode out one of the most illicit experiences of my life. I rolled my head the other way and dazed into eternity afterwards.
Mrs. Looper, satisfied with her work, rubbed my belly then.
“Well, is our diaper man ready to go?”
We went back to her house and I had to stifle my anger as she made an egg salad sandwich for me.
“I didn’t want her to know.” I said to her, “I thought this was going to be our secret?”
“Jeremy, your mother knows all about your tendencies.” was all she said in return.