Subject: Jason and Shaun – Chapter 4 Warning: This story doesn’t contain any sex. It’s the story of gay teens. None of the characters are based on real people nor are they meant to resemble any living or dead people. Let me know what you think of the story by emailing me aol_ I want to thank everyone who has emailed. I also want to thank those who have read the story. It means a lot hearing from you. Please continue reading! There is a lot more to come. I own all rights to this story. Chuck B. I want to thank Pete ahead of time for taking the time to edit the story. ? October 13, 2008 Jason and Shaun, Life Together Chapter 4 ? Was It a Dream? I open my journal and start writing: “Dear Journal, It’s been a month since I came out to Jason, one month exactly today. I know it feels like things are moving so fast right now. I can’t help it, not sure why, but I want this to work out. Anyway, I need to get going.” Closing my book I left my room, stepping out in just a pair of shorts. Jason surprised me. He was actually sitting in the living room. You would think that by coming out to him that the tension would have died down but it hasn’t. In fact sometimes, like right now, the air is really heavy. Jason looks at me but doesn’t say anything. I walk past him and make my way to the kitchen for a drink. He suddenly stands up and wants to know if I want to go out. All my homework is finished, so there isn’t anything keeping me from heading out. I agree to go. We pass by a couple of bars. It’s pretty clear that Jason would rather go to the bar. I’m not about to go there because he’s not twenty-one just yet. We finally arrive at the restaurant and put in our orders. Neither one of us is really hungry so we just get drinks. Jason orders a cola and I order a lime soda that I love. We sit there for awhile and just drink. In a corner of this restaurant there are a couple of dartboards. Jason goes up and requests darts. While taking his turn, he turns to me and asks me about my dating history. “Jason, I used to have a girlfriend.” I replied. He again looked at me and asked, “Why would you date women if you’re gay?” I didn’t expect him to understand any of this. It doesn’t always make sense to me. Still it’s a matter of survival for me. “Dating girls in high school was a way to hide my sexuality from spying eyes. I figured my family wouldn’t put two and two together this way.” He doesn’t seem to understand. Maybe someday he will. He reached out his hand and took my hand. We sat that way as we finished our drinks. I wonder if the time is right to ask him about April. Taking a deep breath I ask, “Jason… is April your girlfriend?” Jason smiled as he clenched my hand a little tighter. “Shaun… April is my best friend and she has been for a long time, but no she isn’t my girlfriend. Actually, I have something to tell you. I’m gay! I have even had a boyfriend. We were together back in high school. His name is Eric Reynolds. We spent two years together. Shaun… I loved Eric.” There is a word that I didn’t want to hear. Honestly my heart sank, but at least this Eric Reynolds is out of his life. We stood up and left the place. When we got home, we both made a beeline for our bedrooms. When I entered my room, I grabbed my cell phone and called Matt. I hope and pray that he’s home. Matt has a way of making sense of my weird life. Ever since I moved away from home, I attach faster to people. A trait that has lead to me being upset on a couple of occasions. Finally on the third ring, I hear the voice of reason pick up. “Matt here, mezitli escort what’s up?” Hearing Matt’s voice is a beacon in whatever storm I’m weathering. “Matt, I know you’re going to kill me for saying this, but I think that I’m in love.” Matt told me that he didn’t want to hear me say “I’m in love” unless I really meant it. Unless, the other guy other loved me too. “So… for starters is this guy gay?” At least I could answer one of his questions with an affirmative answer. “Yeah… for once, I actually have a crush on a gay guy. Jason is the most real guy that I know, well next to you.” “So do think he know about you being gay?” Make that two questions that I can answer. “I told him already. It wasn’t easy but I actually told him.” “Wow… I’m impressed, my friend. You must like this guy. It’s not every guy that makes you break down your walls.” I guess he’s right about that; I have broken down a few walls for Jason. “Does he have feelings for you?” I could almost feel Matt looking straight into my eyes. “Matt, I don’t know if he loves me or not, but I do love him.” “I guess that answers my question. Now you just need to tell him how you feel.” I took a deep breath. “I don’t think that I’m ready for that just yet.” I heard a sigh and then Matt said, “Hey man… my dinner is ready. I need to go.” Dinner ready or not, it was late and I was feeling pretty tired. “K man, take care!” Grabbing my journal, I made a quick entry about the evening so far. I then turned in. I woke up to the smell of something cooking in the kitchen. He was already up and cooking breakfast. I walked out of the room and looked into the kitchen. Jason was in there, dressed in a t-shirt and a pair of blue jean shorts. On a plate next to him were very thin pancakes and in a bowl next to them were some strawberries. He seemed to be quite happy as he toiled in front of the stove. I ran back inside my room and proceeded to put on some shorts. I walked back out and entered the kitchen/dining room. “So what are we cooking?” I asked. “This morning, we are going to have crepes stuffed with strawberries with a little whipped cream put over them,” Jason answered me. He seemed just way too happy. I can’t believe he is putting out all this effort just for me. Jason turned back around and filled a bunch of the crepes with strawberries. “Can you set the table for me?” Jason asked me. I figured it was the least I could do. After all, he did go through the trouble of making breakfast. I could at least set the table. The only thing I can’t do is help with the dishes after breakfast. I have class today. It’s weird and I can’t put a finger on it but I swear Jason is trying to tell me something. “Cool, I hope you’re hungry!” Jason said as he placed two over-stuffed crepes on my plate and two on his plate. They look so good and I am starving this morning. My first bite was okay, the second bite was great, but I’m not overly impressed. They taste like pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream on them. Somehow, we managed to make through breakfast without saying a word. “Thanks Jason, but I need to get ready for class.” I hate having to run off to class. I just can’t afford to miss any classes. I’m going to have a hard enough time getting through all of this semester without missing any classes. My class had better go okay. Leaving Jason alone in the kitchen felt wrong. Still, I needed to get my shower in before I headed out the door. I hurried through my shower so that I could get out the door with enough time to relax. pozcu escort Having those few seconds to collect yourself is a luxury that I happen to love. Sure enough I was able to get to class with ten minutes to spare, leaving me ten minutes to review the notes from the last class before lecture started today. I can’t explain it, but somehow it just plain felt wrong. Today, my thoughts were on Jason, not on class work, so it was a good thing that there wasn’t a test or quiz. Thinking about Jason seemed to carry over, even once class was over. For the life of me, I couldn’t get him out of my head. All of this over some thin pancakes, I guess maybe I really am in love with him. Class ended a little bit early so the professor sent us home without even giving us homework, a truly rare occasion indeed. As I entered the parking lot at the apartment complex, I felt strange, unlike anything that I had felt before. It was as if something was telling to go back to the campus. I was ready to be home though. I took out my key and entered the building. Miss White’s apartment door was cracked open a little bit. She never keeps it open. As I went over to check, a feeling of dread swept over me. I was afraid something had happened. Instead, she was sitting there in her favorite chair waiting. Waiting for me to come and check things out. I was ambushed. For quite some time, she sat there and talked to me about Jason. By time I returned home, tears were streaming down my face. Pure and simple, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Chapter 4 ? Was It a Dream? – Jason’s Point of View An entire month has passed since Shaun came out to me. In that month it seems as if we hardly even spoke a word. I know he’s keeping more from me. Still I’m afraid of pushing too much. If I push too much he might just clam up for good. Man, I want to know what he’s hiding from me. If he loves me, I wish he would just tell me. Doesn’t he have any balls? Maybe I am expecting too much from him. I don’t know either way; it’s not exactly easy for me. I’m holding out for some kind of sign from him. Anything that might tell me what he’s thinking. What I need right now is just a chance to leave the apartment for a little bit. I asked Shaun if he wanted to go out. It didn’t take him too long to get out the door. Shaun and I enjoyed our drinks and after enjoying the drinks for awhile, I decided to play some darts. I was amazed that the Utah boy would want to play darts. Still he did pretty good. As we started playing, I turned to Shaun and asked about his dating history. To be honest, I was a bit surprised to hear that Shaun had a girlfriend at one time. I got the feeling from what Shaun said that his girlfriends were nothing more than a veil to hide his true sexuality. Sitting there talking with Shaun, I still was not really sure what his exact reasons were for hiding. After my line of questions and more drinking, the questions were turned on me. Shaun started his questions to me and paused before finishing his first question. “Jason… is April your girlfriend?” There is no reason to lie to him. April is just my friend. Although she does sometimes act like my girlfriend, she is kind of nuts. I love her dearly. I truly felt that Shaun had exposed himself to my questions. Now, I feel that he is trying to see where I am. Hearing him take his time and pause in his first question made me want to give him some of my strength. Reaching down with my right hand, I took his left hand and squeezed. I smiled at him before answering his question. “Shaun… escort bayan April is my best friend and she has been for a long time, but no she isn’t my girlfriend. Actually, I have something to tell you. I’m gay! I have even had a boyfriend. We were together back in high school. His name is Eric Reynolds. We spent two years together. Shaun… I loved Eric.” When I finished saying the word “Eric”, I could see Shaun tremble a bit. I’m pretty sure that Shaun’s heart broke. One more proof that Shaun loves me. I was ready to leave and think that Shaun was ready to go also. I drove home with Shaun in the car. Things were very quiet on the way home. When we got to the apartment both of us headed into our bedrooms. I went to water Lucy. As I left my bedroom, I heard Shaun talking to someone. He was talking loud enough for me to hear even if I was on the couch. I heard him flat out say “I do love him.” Shaun does love me. I… I can’t believe he’s telling someone else instead of me. Wonder if he’ll tell me someday. In the morning, I’ll prepare him a special breakfast of strawberry crepes. I went straight to bed after calling Tom to bring me strawberries and whipped cream. I was up at 5:00 am and went to work preparing them. I mixed up the batter and starting creating my masterpieces. Around 6:00 am Shaun woke up to the wonderful smell of my cooking. He came out and actually volunteered to set the table. I expected him to be in seventh heaven when it came to the crepes. He really didn’t seem all that impressed. I felt hurt and betrayed. After he finished eating, Shaun got up and went to class, leaving me in the apartment to wash dishes. I stood there and thought about what had transpired yesterday and last night. There is only person who can make sense of the mess, Miss White. I hurried back to back to the frying pan and made a couple more crepes. I then left the apartment and walked over to Miss White’s apartment. She had just come back in from her morning walk when I got to her apartment. “Well this is a surprise, how can I help you Jason?” I almost walked away from her, but I had to talk with her. “I need to talk to you about Shaun.” Her eyes quickly went to her door and she unlocked it. One by one, we entered the apartment. She sat down in her living room and invited me to sit down. “So what is it that you want to know?” “Miss White, I know Shaun has listened in on me talking to a friend of mine. Last night, I heard him tell someone that he loves me.” She smiled the same sort of smile that I shared with Shaun when I took his hand at the restaurant. “Jason, he does love you. You have to give him time to tell you but in the mean time tell him how you feel.” Her Siamese cats walked out of their hiding places and I think that I fell in love them. One of them even leaped up into my lap. “She rarely will go to anyone unless there is something really special about them. So what else would you like to know?” Okay… here is my chance to find out why he refused to tell me that he loves me. “Why does he refuse to tell me about his feelings?” The smile disappeared from her face. “He’s been hurt before and badly. I’m afraid he doesn’t trust anyone now.” I suppose that I can tell him and… , wait, does this have something to do with Payton? “So does he have a boyfriend?” “You already know the answer to that, don’t you?” Yes, I do! He doesn’t have a boyfriend. Smiling, I said, “You know that I love him.” I got up and headed for the door. “Thanks Miss White, I hope the crepe isn’t cold.” “I’ll warm it up! Now go on to class!” “Bye! Oh one last thing, I can’t wait forever on him.” I walked out of her apartment and headed out to the campus. I tried to stay out of the apartment until it was quite late. I got home around 7:00 pm. Shaun was not home so I just went to bed after doing some homework.

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