It is strange how even the most prosaic of statements can take on a new meaning when one has some personal knowledge of the subject not available to other readers.
Thus it was that, for me, the following item tucked away on an inside page of the Oxford Herald had special significance:
“The death of Archibald, 3rd Duke of Massingham, was announced this week. It is understood that the Duke and Lady Massingham were busy in one of the upstairs rooms of their home, Darnell Hall, when Sir Archibald suffered a severe stroke which sadly proved fatal.
He is succeeded by his elder son Robin.”
Now it happens that I was until quite recently an adviser to Lord and Lady Massingham. I am a chartered accountant specializing in taxation and as such I was called in to advise the Massinghams on matters concerning Inheritance Tax. However, it is not for the intricacy of their family trusts that I remember Sir Archie and Lady Audrey but for a sensational glimpse into their more intimate affairs that was occasioned by a visit I paid to Darnell Hall in the autumn of 2009.
When I knew her Audrey Massingham was a gracious lady of late middle age. On the occasion of my visit she looked slim, elegant and beautifully groomed. Her once-blonde hair had turned an elegant shade of grey, a fact that she did not attempt to disguise by artificial means. She wore a crisp silk blouse, brown tweed skirt, tan-coloured stockings and soft brown leather shoes with low heels. The very archetype of county aristocracy in fact.
When I arrived she greeted me in the massive front portico and explained that her husband, Sir Archie, was away shooting in Scotland but that this should not prevent us from discussing the preliminaries and getting some details down on paper. I was quite surprised to find that she was alone in the house. Apparently it was the staff’s day off.
We worked in her husband’s study, Lady Audrey sitting in a straight-backed chair to one side, so that I could use my laptop on the desk. The formalities took no more than half an hour but Lady Audrey seemed in no hurry to let me go. She showed an interest in my laptop. Her husband, she said, knew about computers (she indicated a monitor on a pull-out shelf) but they were a mystery to her. It was obvious that she wanted some information but was skirting around the subject. Eventually she seemed to summon up the courage to look me straight in the eye and say, “I can do email and all that sort of thing of course but what I really want to do is get hold of some pornography. Do you know how to do that? “
I was so flabbergasted to be asked this question by a titled lady – and one who had just allowed me to enter on a tax form that she was sixty three years of age – that for a moment I did not answer. Sensing my confusion she added, “I don’t really get the chance to ask anyone – I couldn’t ask eryaman genç escort Archie. But I know we have broadband and I would like it if you could show me what to do.” When I still hesitated, she added, “I’m no prude, you know.”
I was somewhat hesitant about admitting that I most certainly did know how to access pornography and was, indeed, somewhat addicted to it. Eventually I took the plunge.
“What sort of thing would you like to see?”
She coloured a little but then murmured quietly, “Oh, naked men with big cocks I suppose.”
“Okay”. I turned to my laptop and navigated to a page which showed pictures of men and women, mainly naked, indulging in a variety of sexual activities.
“Oh, my goodness!” she exclaimed, “they are all, what should I say, very well endowed aren’t they?” She was sitting close to me now and I could sense her rising excitement. I was also very aware that her skirt had ridden up and she was revealing her knees and several inches of smooth, stockinged thigh.
“Do they have moving pictures too?” she asked.
I quickly found a web page that showed video of a semi-clad woman vigorously performing fellatio on
her partner’s huge penis.
“Oh, my goodness!” she said again – it was obviously one of her phrases. After watching the screen in fascination for several minutes she reached across for my hand and gently guided it under her skirt. I was all too aware that, as her financial adviser I was in an invidious position but, already aroused by the video I now found myself fully erect as I touched the soft flesh above her stocking top. When she began to murmur soft, encouraging noises and parted her legs a little to allow me access to her most intimate parts I found it impossible to resist. I was not surprised to find that the thin silk gusset of her knickers was already moist.
It was not long before she had whipped off her skirt and was lying on the richly carpeted floor of the study.
“Quickly! Get my knickers off,” she gasped as I urgently unzipped my trousers. Kneeling in front of her, I slipped my fingers inside the waistband and gently pulled down the powder-blue panties revealing a neat triangle of dark pubic hair. Gently pushing her legs further apart I lay down with my head between them and began to explore her with my mouth. I heard her gasp with pleasure and murmur “Oh my goodness!” as I found her clitoris and began to tease it with the very tip of my tongue
After about ten minutes she was reduced to a state of complete abandon. Her legs were wide apart, her juices flowing freely and she was crying out in ecstasy. I knew that she was on the verge of orgasm. Suddenly her body went rigid and she let out a shriek of joy as the moment came. For an instant she remained rigid but then I felt her whole body subside although her pelvis was still moving involuntarily ankara escort bayan in a series of tiny spasms.
I raised myself to a kneeling position and, looking up, she could see that my penis was still massively erect. She reached out and held it, then gently drew me towards her. Placing her hands on my hips she raised her head and began to run her tongue round the tip as she had seen the woman on the website do, then pulled me closer and took the whole length of it deep in her mouth.
After several minutes of sublime pleasure I realized that I was very close to orgasm and rapidly withdrew myself from her mouth. Her legs were still spread wide apart and I could see that she was still very wet so I guided the tip of my penis into her vagina then forced the whole length of it into her. I tried to restrain myself and use long, slow thrusts but she did not want restraint. ‘Harder, harder!’ she cried, ‘fuck me harder!’ Doing as I was bid I quickly achieved a shattering climax and, as the warm product of my passion forced its way deep inside her I felt her shudder with pleasure and knew that she was in the midst of a second orgasm.
Later, as we lay exhausted alongside each other, I felt her hand reach out for mine. “My dear boy”, she said, “that was simply marvelous, thank you so much.” She paused and then added, “if I’d known that sex could be anything like that I would have done something about it years ago!”
“What about your husband?”
“Sex with Archie is complicated,’ she said dreamily, ‘he was always very dominant and established quite early in our marriage exactly what I was expected to do to satisfy him. He has great difficulty in getting an erection, in fact there is only one way he can do it. When he demands what he calls his ‘rights’ I have to go up to the turret room and wait for him. He comes up wearing nothing but a dressing gown which he takes off so that he’s naked. I have to be fully dressed but wearing stockings and suspenders underneath like I did when we were first married. It’s part of the ritual”
She paused, then asked, “do you know what a tawse is?”
“It’s an implement that was used for corporal punishment in many Scottish schools until quite recently. It’s a stiff leather strap which is divided about halfway down so that it forms two tails. Archie keeps one locked in a drawer in the turret room.”
“He doesn’t use it on you?” I asked incredulously
“Oh I’m afraid he does. He makes me kneel on the sofa and take my knickers down. Just down to my knees – he thinks that is more humiliating for me than removing them altogether, which, of course, it is. Then I have to lift my skirt and hold it so that my bottom is fully exposed while he thrashes me with the tawse.”
“Oh my God! But that’s awful. It must hurt like hell.”
“It’s not as bad as you might think. sincan escort It’s hard to explain but I quite like being dominated. And it’s exciting to know that he is enjoying the sight of me kneeling there with my skirt up and my knickers round my knees. The actual thrashing certainly stings a lot and I scream because I know he likes that, but the funny thing is I actually find it rather exciting and it makes me wet, you know … between the legs. I suppose it’s because blood rushes to the nether regions or something. When he’s finished he usually has quite a decent erection so he’s able to take me from behind. The worst bit is that he’s finished almost as soon as he’s started so that although I’m aroused I never get any satisfaction. That’s why it is so marvellous to have it done properly,” she added, giving my hand a squeeze.
Having given free rein to my desire I now found myself in a rather delicate position. Our coupling had been completely impromptu as far as I was concerned (although I had a strong suspicion that she had planned it beforehand) but my professional position was now compromised and with gloomy foreboding induced by post-coital triste I cursed myself for my stupidity and lack of self-control. It occurred to me that perhaps Lady Audrey was a nymphomaniac, or might become one, and that I would be subjected to increasingly voracious sexual demands. The thought of blackmail even crossed my mind.
It is a quality of aristocrats – derived, perhaps, from centuries of good breeding – never to be disconcerted by a situation, however bizarre. It was now that Lady Audrey demonstrated this quality in abundance when, as if reading my mind, she murmured, “It’s alright you know. You don’t need to worry. This won’t happen again and, as far as I am concerned it never did happen.” Then she turned over and, supporting herself on her elbows looked me straight in the face and added, “but I shall always be grateful.”
“What will you do?” I asked.
“What? About sex you mean? Oh I have plans. That’s why I wanted you to show me how to get hold of pornography. There are these two women at WI, both middle-aged divorcees who are fed up with men but still like sex. They’ve both got themselves dildoes,” she blushed a little, “you know, the vibrating sort. Much better than a cucumber. They’ve told me where to get one and I shall darn well do so,” she added defiantly.
“What about Sir Archie?”
“Oh, I shan’t tell him! He’s away a lot anyway.
“But what about the tawse?”
“He can use it on me if he wants to. I don’t really mind as long as I can get away to my own room afterwards and … well you know.”
I haven’t seen Audrey from that day to this. I did have several subsequent meetings with Sir Archie but, with great tact, she ensured that she was never present. When we had thrashed out (an unfortunate choice of phrase in the circumstances perhaps) the details of the Massingham family trust and made it as tax-efficient as possible my work was at an end.
Of course I have often wondered whether Sir Archie’s seizure occurred before, or after he had used his tawse!