Making Amends 25 Years Later


As I sat alongside her in the First Class cabin of Air India’s AI-111 flight cruising over the Atlantic on its way to New York this lovely Sunday afternoon, my thoughts go back down the memory lane. The kaleidoscope of some of the prized possessions in my memory bank, the secrets no one has ever known, which only she and I are privileged to have shared, unfolded before my eyes even as her bare arm and shoulder rested on my body.

My thoughts went back to the time when I was a kid, when my family used to live in a nice little house in a small hill town in northern India. It was a lovely little house that we lived in. The house was on a slope and the three rooms we had were at different levels, with substantial vacant undulating land all around it. I remember vividly the day when a new family moved in two houses next to ours. The family differentiated itself from scores of others in the neighbourhood because it had a little girl, almost my age. I had few friends and the first sight of this girl made me want to become friends with her.

In due course, we did become good friends. In fact, we soon grew to be each other’s best friends. She was a very sweet girl indeed, and I always enjoyed her company. We were too young to understand what love was but I always felt this magnetic attraction towards her. For as long as I can remember, I have enjoyed being with her, talking to her, joking with her, studying with her, playing with her…..

I was always very keen in studies. She was one year my junior at the same school and had herself no mean prowess in studies. We used to spend long hours, discussing various subjects. I was amazed that she could discuss Physics, chemistry, Biology and Mathematics with equal felicity. Our discussions used to be lively and intellectually stimulating. Like me, she was also always keen to understand the what, why and how of processes.

Arising out of an urge to excel in studies and life, I had often requested my parents to give me a separate room, where I could indulge in my passions undisturbed. Because the house was not too large, this had not been possible. In time, I succeeded in persuading my dad to build a little cottage on the sloping piece of land that was 10 feet below the lowest room in the house, with entrance through a wooden ladder from the rest of the house above. That the cottage would permit a stunning view of the Himalayan ranges and thousands of pine trees was an added bonus. As the workers finished the wooden ladder to the cottage, my joy knew no bounds. That soon became our second home – hers and mine, a place where no one could bother us and a place where we could pursue whatever fancied us unhindered. We were always so focussed on studies and were considered so young that the two of us spending long hours together in the cottage raised no eyebrows in either our otherwise traditional Indian families or in an equally traditional neighbourhood.

I remember her clear and vivid. Her long straight black hair that had a natural bounce and glimmer, the unique twinkle in her eyes and her radiant skin glowing in the moonlit nights made her a very magnetic persona. Her complexion was ivory white. Anywhere on her body I touched her, she was so soft, so tender. It was always evoked “Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hai” feelings (the famous Hindi movie – You cause indefinable flutters in my heart), whenever I touched her or she touched me, but I did not understand the meaning of it for several years. She was a wonderful friend, a great companion. To me, she was like an angel.

Time just flew. As the neighbourhood was sparsely populated with very few children in our age-group, she and me used to spend most of our time together. For many years now, she had shown a penchant for brushing my hair in a particular manner. Every time I came into our den after a bath, she would insist on redoing my hair. This particular day, as she was doing this, I looked into the mirror and something struck me like never before. I found that we looked gorgeous together, and formed such a lovely couple. Little had I known then that as the years flew by, I would one day fall in love with this girl to the extent of yearning and lusting for her.

Not very much later, I began to realize that she was not the same girl I knew before. This occurred in more ways than one. She was timid and shy now, sometimes not even looking directly at me in the eyes anymore when we talked to each other. I also noticed that our academic discussions and debates were more and more on biology, and there also, it was reproductive system of animals which seemed to interest us more. I noticed on several occasions that she would lapse into spells of thoughtful silence even as we discussed various aspects of reproductive biology. It seemed to me as if the mysteries of this science took her on flights of fancy way beyond the momentary academics. At least once, I caught her rubbing her thighs together, as if to experience some hitherto unknown sensations, even as we discussed copulation and zygote formation. I also noticed that during our long illegal bahis evening walks along the meandering pathways of the surrounding hills, she would often tug on to my arm nearer to her, as if falling back on me for support. She would also often cling to me for protection whenever even a harmless forest animal crossed our path.

I loved each bit the way she allocated to me this role of being her protector and guardian. This was also the time when I often found her complimenting me on my looks and personality. Such words almost always confused me, for, I could not fathom what she found attractive in my bland persona. I knew she was conscious of the way her own body was changing – and she wasn’t perhaps sure if she was beautiful. While I always kept telling her that she was an angel, a most beautiful creation of God, somewhere along the line, I found myself fancying to be the one to “demonstrate” to her one day how gorgeous she was, in all ways. Taking off from my angelic reference, I started calling her “Pari”, a fairy. I could tell that she liked it. This was a name that just I used, and she in turn gave me a new name, “Raj”, that only she used.

I had celebrated my 16th birthday six months back, and Pari had just turned 16 too. One day, it just hit me that Pari was growing up to be such a beautiful young lady. The day was beautiful. There was a bit of chill in the air, the aroma of the pines was wafting thick and true in the air. The sky was clear, and it was absolutely gorgeous. Noon had turned to evening. The sky was replete with orange and red hues and I thought it would be a great idea to call her over to talk and hang out in our little den. Academics were farthest from my mind today. I just wanted to watch the sunset with Pari, spend some quality time with her, something we rarely had time to do outside our academic oursuits. I sat there close to the door of my cottage. The wait was becoming a bit too much. I did not want Pari to see me peeping through the door skywards, for her to begin her descent on the wooden ladder. I therefore, placed a mirror strategically inclined against the wall so that I could see her without being noticed, as soon as she appeared on the horizon. In a short while, Pari came into the mirror-frame.

These last few days, every time I saw Pari, I was overtaken by an urge to lock her in a tight embrace, to kiss her and let my biological urge have its way. I often dreamed of merging into her under the stars. Even though I can articulate these thoughts in clear terms today, things were different then, for, I had never been close to a girl, and did not quite understand finer nuances of making love. And yet, I discovered, sexuality is the best teacher. As she began her descent towards our den, I saw in the mirror her beautifully formed legs under her skirt. My heart leapt. As she descended a few steps, my eyes caught her white panties, through which broad contours of her female sex were visible. Something happened to me down there, straightaway. Even though the angle was rather steep, I had a quick look at the rest of her body and found a few things that had somehow eluded my attention before. These were now so evident even through the loosely fitting dress that she was wearing. She was wearing a bright yellow long dress, coming just below her knees. She had such a perfect body. How had I failed to notice before? Ripe developing breasts, which accentuated the thinness of her waist, followed by considerably broader hips. She was shaped like an hour glass. Her legs were long, white and slender. My breathing became instantly heavier. How I wished I could just rip apart her coverings, hold her breasts in my palms and knead them, and slowly work up on her legs and feel her in her most personal place with my fingers, lips and tongue. But soon, I found myself rebuking myself for my insanity. “What are you thinking Raj? Pari is your best friend, you can’t think like that about her”. However, the effort at self-control was futile. It was too late. My whole being appeared to want to have my maiden initiation into a physical union with this female without delay. I acknowledged it, and it felt good…

Pari was coming down the ladder slowly, humming some tune. I could see her breasts, jumping and wiggling at each step she descended. I had never seen a young girl’s breasts till then but the very sight before my eyes today made me imagine what lay inside. It was headier than a teenage boy’s dream. I still had the dilemma that it wasn’t right to look, that I should never have done it, but something else just came over me as I continued to peer into the mirror as she came down, step-by-step. I saw her white panties more clearly now, and the contours of her vaginal assembly became much clearer as well, revealing also a shade of black on the periphery, her pubic hair and I felt this sudden rush of ecstasy. As if to confirm that was what I actually wanted, I found my little one had hardened and catapulted to enormous proportions. I wanted to grab Pari, rip open her dress, tear the bra off her and just hold those marvellous illegal bahis siteleri breasts! Although never in a sex act before, I instantly had a deep desire to rub her tits, lick them, and put them in my mouth and suck on them. And yet, I remonstrated with myself, for an instant, “Raj, get control over yourself”.

Pari came into our cottage and we sat there talking. It was such a lovely evening. That we did not have books in front of us today did not bother here one bit. I loved talking to her. The more we talked, the more I got a feeling of wetness at the orifice of my manhood. For the first time when Pari was with me, I had a full blown erection and hoped that she did not notice it. Embarrassed though I was, I loved each moment of it. The sensations I had never experienced before were carrying me to different world. Somehow, my hand moved and rested atop hers. She immediately held it softly in both her tender hands. After a while, she held my hand in one of hers and began to caress it and my arm with the fingers of her other hand. The tingling sensations made me see stars, sitting there. I brought my other hand and moved it softly on her cheeks and she melted into my touch. She squirmed and leaned heavily into me, permitting my fingers a touch of her luscious lips and eyelids. As she knelt, I could see her breasts clearly. They were ivory white and beautifully formed and almost surprised me with their size. The angle of her inclination showed her right nipple through her white bra. It was pink and I thought it stood half an inch atop her lovely breast. My breathing became heavier instantaneously. Noticing the increased draught of hot air on her neck from my breath, she turned slightly and looked up towards my face and found me peering at her breasts. She smiled coyly and moved her eyes away, but stayed in the same position.

All this while, we continued to talk. The more we talked, the more I felt the urge just to lean over and make love to her. The way she sat next besides me, I just wanted to run my hands up inside the blouse portion of her dress and between her legs and feel her soft luscious girlhood. Oh how I longed for it so much! My cock was rock solid now, and all efforts at self-control and cooling off were failing me now.

This could obviously not go on indefinitely. I noticed that she had being going along with me thus far and I was sure that her thoughts could not have been very different from mine. Only, someone had to make the first move. I leaned over. I had no plans to do so but impulsively, I kissed her. I shuddered having done so, for, I knew not how Pari would respond. Surprisingly she kissed back. I felt her tongue in my mouth. She smelled and tasted so fresh and sweet. This was the first time I was kissing a girl, and I wonder today how we did it so perfectly. I was sucking and licking her tongue with my own. Our tongues were intertwined and we were probing each other in our mouths. She was licking my tongue furiously with hers, and I was giving it right back. I loved how the animal within me was being released.

After a few minutes of heavenly kissing, I found my hand upon her breasts. She did not resist in the least. Encouraged, I approached her treasures from underneath her dress and her bra. To feel a breast in my hands for the first time in my life was such an erotic sensation. I just massaged those lovely treasures of Pari that I had wanted to feel for many days now. I had begun by nimbly massaging her nipples and the areola region surrounding them. The way she gratefully offered the treasures to me without inhibitions or resistance, I could tell her nipples had been just aching for the touch of my manly hands on them. I momentarily withdrew my hand from underneath her blouse and pushed the blouse up all the way, revealing her beautiful breasts in all their glory. She moaned, “Oh Raj, we shouldn’t do this, this is wrong, stop Raj.” Normally, I would have stopped dead in my tracks at her command, as I was loathe at going against her wishes. But today, I ignored what she said and I continued, mainly because her remonstrative words were accompanied by a deft movement of her torso to push her breasts further into my grateful open palms. Now I was twisting and playing with her nipples. They had become rock hard. Her skin was so soft that my fingers almost slipped over it; it felt so right and so good.

The going was so nice. I knew that I must take it forward. I flicked my tongue softly across her nipple. Her nipple instantly got harder and she moaned in anticipation. The wetness from my tongue caused her nipple to ache for more. Her nipple stood out now, like a little tower on a hill; I felt my cock harden even more as she moaned and I knew she wanted me so badly! Then as one hand of mine was still rubbing her tits, I moved the other hand further down. I was across her stomach, rubbing it gently working my way down to her haloed triangle, where her golden orifice lay, probably throbbing for my cock by now. I moved down lower and lower until I felt her panty lines. She wore white canlı bahis siteleri cotton panties, and that was such a turn on for me. I imagined lustfully that underneath those panties was a sweet little virgin pussy just waiting to be made love to, both in the most erotic and raw manner and for long. I made my way down to her thighs and rubbed and gently teased her inner thigh, the area tantalisingly close to the pussy. By her response, I knew she wanted me just to rub her pussy and to finger her in an unabashed manner. And yet, I wanted our first encounter of the intimate type to be memorable and wanted to go slow, step by step, inch by inch. I pulled her dress well above her breasts and had a panoramic view of her most beautiful and almost nude body. I saw a little damp patch through her white panties. My manhood was taller than the Eiffel Tower now. I kneeled in front of her while still massaging her luscious breasts with my hands. I lowered my head towards her knees, and began kissing on her knees and slowly worked my way up to her inner thigh. Her thigh was so white, so hairless; it was so sexy! I licked and kissed softly on her thighs and her hips began to move in sync with my tongue. She kicked gently and was gyrating her well formed hips. “Oh Raj, please do not do that down there. You know we’re good friends, we can’t do this, Raj. Please stop”, she moaned. I ignored her even as the gyrations of her pelvis became more intense with each moment. I took no notice of what she said, as I knew that was her mind speaking but her body was begging to be fucked here and now!

Her white panties became more wet and soggy. Contours of her beautiful womanhood were clearly visible now. At that moment, I placed my right forefinger gently over her panties. I could feel her soft moist lips underneath. I had such a strong urge to just rip the panties apart and dip my finger deep into her ravishing pussy lips and make her cum. That was what I wanted, but this girl meant so much to me. I knew it was her first time too. How could I be crude and hasty to someone so special and so mine? I must prepare her for each step of this marvellous process of discovering our sexuality. I kept on arguing with myself that this was our first time and the first time occurs just once in the whole lifetime. Pretty soon, my whole hand made it onto her pussy; and it felt like a little mound encapsulating the whole Universe there, between her legs. All I felt was her dripping wetness, ever increasing. My hand just rested there for what appeared to be an eternity. I was feeling her dampness through her panties. As the minutes passed by, I felt more wetness seep through her white cotton panties. Her outer lips were so soft and majestic. I felt as if God had sent me on this planet for her alone. And I promised myself that I would pleasure this angel to the fullest.

Her hips were gyrating furiously, and she pressed her pelvic region against my hand. Grinding her hips in a circular motion now, she was rubbing her wet slit against my hand even harder and faster. She obviously loved all the attention I was giving her, arousing her hitherto unexplored and unseen sexuality. She startled me as she jumped from her perch and headed to the little toilet attached to our lair. I was further intrigued that she did not close the door behind her fully and latch it, as she always did before. Two minutes, three, five, ten… When she did not emerge from the toilet after so long, I was a bit alarmed. I gingerly walked up to the toilet and was astonished to hear some strange noises. It was a mixture of soft sobbing and some other sounds I had never heard before – I now know these were sounds of ecstasy. That Pari was in some turmoil was too much for me and jettisoning the normal propriety required when one knows the toilet has a lady inside, I just entered the toilet. There she was, on the toilet seat, her left hand inside her panties, and she groaning in a strange way. She was surprised seeing me before her. I stood still, next to her, trying to absorb the meaning of all that was happening before my eyes. It was her turn to take me by surprise now. She placed her right hand gingerly on my thigh. Before I could fully absorb the sensations from her intimate touch at such a sensitive part of my body, I felt her hand move up, underneath the shorts and the brief I was wearing. And there she was, feeling my more than erect manhood and taking it in one of her hands. This was the first time my member had been touched like this by a woman. That it was Pari made it doubly rewarding. She fiddled with it softly, arousing me even further; she gently stroked my cock up and down, up and down as if playing in an orchestra. She rubbed the head of my penis with her finger tips and she got her fingers wet from my pre-cum. As if to fully reciprocate her sentiments, I began to rub on her womanhood from outside her panty and her moaning became louder. She soon started to stroke my lubricated cock again. I was literally on cloud-nine. It was hard to believe that all this was actually happening to me – that I had just kneaded her lovely breasts and felt her pussy, al beit from outside her panties, and she had my erect and wet manhood in the grip of her tender soft hand. I urged her to continue and told her that I loved it. I cajoled her to jerk me off.

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