Mid-Life in Crisis: Amy’s Story


Authors notes; Hi again. Between rounds of fixing our house I was able to pull a few all nighters and get some writing done. Again, the only editing done, was accomplished by my loving wife. Knowing that more house work is coming, I’m posting it as is. If ther are mistakes, I’m sorry, but it wouldn’t be able to post them otherwise.

Please remember this is a cpywrited piece of work and all legal disclaimers apply. remember to take a second and vote or a minute and comment.


Carpet muncher, beaver eater, lickity splitter, or even a twat lapper. Those and other stupid names are something I’ve had to deal with for the last five years.

The sad thing is, although I’ve had many fantasies, I’ve never gone all the way. Oh sure, I’ve reached second base. But, other than that, and a few booby flashes, I was still a virgin. Sucks I know, but it doesn’t change the facts. I was still unattached and likely to stay that way for the foreseeable future.

Why, you might ask? I haven’t a fucking clue, other than I wasn’t looking for sex. I was looking for someone to share my life with. I’ve often wondered if I set my sights too high. But then again, a girl shouldn’t have to settle of second best. I know for sure my mom and Karney never have. I mean, even when my mom married that asshole who calls himself my father, she was head over heels in love with the jerk.

Oh, I’m Amy Patten by the way. You met me when reading about my mom and dad’s divorce, and subsequent re-attachments. My dad pulled a mid-life crisis out of his ass and fractured our family. I have twin older brothers, two half sib ankle biters and two step-moms. One; who I kindly tolerate, and the other; who I love to death.

Just to make it clear, I’ve always known that I prefer girls over boys. I am a Lesbian by Nature. Yeah, what a bitch that’s been to live with. I thought I had something once while I was a teen, but she just proved to me that she was a lying, two faced cunt. Making out with me one minute, and then laughing at her idiot brother’s crude anti-gay jokes.

So, as they say; to make a long story short. I was officially an adult. Who, by the way, was still looking for something like her mother has found. Well in the relationship department anyway. I may love Karney, but she’s not really my type, if you know what I mean. Really, I do appreciate looking at the hard body types, but they don’t really flip my trigger, as it were.

I’m sure the rumors didn’t help my search for partners. Since I knew the truth, I just ignored the rumors. Because really, I am NOT into lesbian, incest, mommy, sex with Karney and my mother. Can you say EWWWEEEEE…?

Oh, and a note for all the psychobabblests’ out there. Yes, I have been subjected to the standard alternatives. One time in particular is great fodder for teasing my brother Bryan; who was caught in flagrant orgamso… with some dumb chick. We came home early because the event we went to had been rained out, to find them otherwise occupied. It was all quite amusing to me.

Picture if you will; coming home and hearing them, just at the part that gets so many young and old people in trouble. Yep, they were praying.

You know the ‘oh god, oh baby, oh yeah, give it to me!’ portion, just seconds before the little swimmers are set free to find who can make it happen. And people say God doesn’t have a sense of humor.

Bryan on the other hand, caught three kinds of hell after the red faced bimbo went running out of the house. The biggest was because they had forgotten to use protection in their rush to bump ugly’s. So, that led to the very embarrassing conversation with her parents. All the trips to the clinic, for all the mandatory preggo, and crud tests, so on and so forth… yadda, yadda, yadda.

Her mother of course, took umbrage when Karney suggested that she tell her other partners’ that something might be amiss. She blew her stack when Mom agreed. ‘Especially since if she was having sex with Bryan; then who else might she be having sex with?’ Hey, it was an honest question.

Yeah, I laughed my ass off for a month!

Anyway, my type… yeah I was just explaining my type; that’s where we were.

My type is a full figured, soft, plush, curvy, sexy, lush, woman. I like boobs I can get lost in and plush tushes that I can grab onto. A woman just this side of plump, and not into fat. A woman with more curves than that famous street down that hill somewhere in California.

Ignore the drops on the page… sorry just drooling a bit. I want her to be smart, sweet, sexy, sassy, and my best friend; before we do the things that makes us go pop.

Like I said, I thought I had it once, but then I had to bust her out at school because of her bigoted brother.

Unfortunately, she ended up getting gang banged by the basketball team, while trying to prove she wasn’t a lesbian. When she turned up pregnant at sixteen, the school had to forfeit the season due to the potential liability caused by the fact her sicko-brother had filmed the illegal bahis whole thing for his own masturbatory satisfaction and threatened to post it on the internet.

A few people lost a lot, because of my immature big mouth. All I wanted was for her to admit that she liked girls; me in particular. I mean hell, she played kissy face with me every chance she got before the big blow up.

I’ve heard of over compensating, but she took it to extremes far beyond anything I could ever imagine. I think there were some major issues in that family.

Unfortunately for the school, they will never live down the fact that the whole team, including the mascot, who everyone thought was flamingly gay, had to be tested in the paternity suit to try and figure out who the father was.

My bet was on the asshole brother. Like I said, there were issues there. Something weird was going on in that house let me tell you. I do feel sorry for her for my part in the sordid affair. Then again, I know I didn’t knock her up.

So, as you can see, I had some commitment issues myself. I figured I could wait for the sex part, until after I found someone to fill the commitment part. I know I have it all backwards from what most people think anymore, but that’s just the way I felt about it.

Now, we can get to why we’re here. I was looking at twenty, single, lesbian, virgin, and alone. I was trying to figure out what the hell I wanted to do with my life, other than working at the local grocery store as a bag-girl, but knew I had only enough money to get one, singular, can’t change my major if I wanted to; degree.

That’s when Karney found a place that had a summer internship program. They would actually set you up to go through three different subjects, like nursing, veterinary care, rehabilitation, or office management positions, to see if you were ready to finish the course work needed to get the jobs.

Basically it boiled down to. They were a, let you be a free summer slave, in a hospital, vet clinic, or office, to see if you wanted or could do those jobs; for a small fee, kind of place. I was thinking vet clinic or nursing. They both pay well and I could get my degree in four years or less depending on the school.

So anyway, Mom and Karney helped me pack up my room, with most of my stuff, going into the attic for storage, and my personal items coming with me. I wished them a good time and told them to take a vacation while I was gone. Karney told me they had to revamp her gym and condo and mom had a big article she had to finish for a new GLBT magazine. Whatever flips their triggers I suppose? I shrugged, as they kissed me goodbye.

We all know the scene I walked into when I finally got off the plane took the bus and dropped off in front of the big brick building. You know, the total chaos of fifty young women, trying to find their stuff and get organized. As I surveyed my surroundings, I thought there were a few of these girls, who I’d like to get to know better.

Of course, that’s when I first saw her. What pulled my eyes to her I don’t know. She stood about five four, with long reddish brown ringlet curled hair. She has these eyes that took my breath away. She had all the right curves, and for the first time in my life, my nipples got hard just by looking at someone.

Before I wanted to stop looking at her, we were separated as the head mistress called us to order, and started giving out room assignments. I sighed lustfully as I grabbed my bag and followed my map to the designated room marked with a big red X. I was putting my stuff away when I heard a voice coming into the room.

“Yes mom… I’m here and everything’s okay. Tell Father that I love him and will call him at least once a week. Yes, I’ll make sure they let me go to church. No Mother, I won’t forget to study my bible. I won’t, Yes Mother. Love you, goodbye.” She flipped her phone closed and sighed. “You’d think I was still an irresponsible teenybopper.” She griped to herself.

I turned and looked as my heart sank to my feet. I knew then, that this was going to be a long summer. My mouth refused to make sounds as she dumped her stuff on the opposite bed and greeted me.

“Hi, I’m Elspeth Wolford.” She chirped happily. “I guess we’re going to be roomies.” She reached out to take my hand.

“Hi… Amy…Patten.” I stuttered like an idiot and blushed. I could see a goodly amount of her cleavage as she leaned over to start shoving her shoes under the bed. I never had this kind of reaction before.

“So, Amy, do you have to check in with your parents like some angst ridden teenager still?” She asked as she puttered around the room putting her stuff away.

“No… my parents are divorced.” I uttered as I tried to concentrate.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I know that’s hard.” She turned to me instantly concerned. “I’ve seen so many people go through that. It’s never easy and the parents hardly ever think of their kids while they’re going through it.” She babbled while looking at me with compassion.

“No illegal bahis siteleri biggie… He was having a mid-life affair and now they’re married. Mom found someone else too, so… it’s all good.” I stopped myself, I didn’t know enough about this Elspeth to be spouting private things about mom and Karney. It’s not like they’re in the closet or anything, but still.

“Doesn’t anyone know the meaning of the word commitment anymore?” Elspeth sighed wistfully.

‘Damn another dart to the heart.’ I muttered to myself. “So, what about your parents?” I asked, trying to keep focused on putting my clothes in the small locker they provided.

“Oh, they were high school sweethearts. She waited while he went to Seminary and they got married after he was ordained in the church. He’s now the senior pastor of a fairly large congregation back home. They wanted me to go into the ministry or on a missionary trip or worse yet, get married. But, I just don’t feel called to do that. I’m okay with being a PK, but want a life outside the church first, if you know what I mean.” She bounced while she talked. I’ve never met someone so happy that actually bounced while they talked.

“Um, what’s a PK…?” I asked, never hearing the term before.

“Oh, that’s right. This is a secular thing. I’m so used to going to church things.” She mused, shaking her head. “Pastor’s kid… MK means Missionary’s kid. Usually these summer things, you’ve got PK’s and MK’s with a few normals but church goers mixed in.” She shrugged. “Where do you go to church?” She turned and bent over, making me drool over her backside.

“I um, I really don’t… I think we went to Baptist church when I was little but then there was some kind of scandal and we just stopped going.” I shrugged not knowing if I just alienated her.

“Oh, thank you Jesus.” She sighed and smiled as she popped back up from what she was doing. “I hoped to not have to sit and debate religion all summer again.” She blushed. “I love God and the Savior, but I want to know what other people are like too.” She looked like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“We’re just people. We all have our issues.” I shrugged, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the thoughts of seeing her naked running through my head, while listening to her beliefs and all that. I mean I do read the news, so I know the religious right, has definite opinions about people of my preferences.

“Oh Sweetie, don’t worry, I’m not going to try and convert you. That’s not my calling. I just want to help people and live a life out from under my parent’s thumb.” She shrugged, making all kinds of interesting things jiggle. “That’s why I’m here. It’s as far away from home as I could find and still be acceptable to them.” She sighed. “Hey, I’m famished. Let go see what they have to eat.” She perked back up and was into her bubbly persona again.

Yeah, it was going to be a very long summer.


Having got there on a Friday, gave us the weekend to get settled in. Elspeth spent the time getting to know as many of the other girls as she could. I sat there and watched and wondered if Karney knew that this thing was put on by an all girls’ prep school. It was something different from anything I’ve ever been to before, that’s for sure.

I won’t even go into the dreams and fantasies I had to suppress as Elspeth changed into her night things and babbled at me. I just hoped she didn’t notice me staring at the cute little dimples in her butt as they peaked at me as she bent over. I groaned as she turned and asked the inevitable.

“So, did you leave a boyfriend back at home?” “Damn I wanted to kiss the perfect double bow of lips that were smiling at me.

“No… I um, I’m still completely single and unattached. I haven’t met anyone who wants what I do.” I shrugged hoping that my answer was enough to put off what I knew would come out sooner or later.

“I know what you mean. I had a guy who thought he was my boyfriend, lord and master. I mean he took me out on a few dates and everything, but he was just, I don’t know… creepy. The way he would never talk to my face. I bet if I asked him what color my eyes were he’d be stumped, but he could tell you the placement of every freckle on my chest.” She sighed wistfully.

“Golden brown…” I answered automatically.

“See, that’s what I mean. I’ve known him like forever, and he couldn’t answer what you just did, and we just met two days ago.” She smiled at me. “I knew from when we met, that I liked you and we would be great friends.” Damn, if those things jiggled again, I didn’t know if I could restrain myself.

“Shit…!” I whispered. This chick was a complete innocent. She was everything I could ever want, but so completely naive and most likely straight.

“I was so happy when my mom talked my dad into letting me go to this. They had me married with children and the thought of being with David that way, makes my skin crawl.” She went on, not hearing my sup-vocal exclamation.

So canlı bahis siteleri started my summer of exploration. Monday we were taken by small busses to the places where we would intern. Elspeth and I ended up at an old folk’s home for our first rotation. Elspeth jumped in and started making me and everyone else smile with her bouncy personality.

Me, I never knew you had to deal with so many messes being in the nursing field. I think that was our main job, cleaning up the pee, poop, or vomit; that came out of these people. We were taught that most nursing jobs where in the eldercare area and it was the minority that actually ended up in hospital emergency rooms.

We would pull an eight to ten hour shifts then were sent home with at least two hours of homework every night. We would hover over the books and protocols on one of our beds and try and remember what we were doing. They made it as real as possible. We would get split days off and had to work the weekends. The only concession they made was they kept roommates on the same schedule so they wouldn’t bother each other during study and sleep times. The only perk was they kept the kitchen open almost twenty four hours a day.

After we started our rotations, it was easier to keep my libido in check. Sure, I wanted to lean in a kiss her while we studied, but being exhausted had its advantages. It was during one of those nights that I started wondering if I might be affecting her the same way she affected me.

I knew her back was sore from lifting the rather large woman who fell out of her bed. She didn’t jump as I put my hands on her neck and started rubbing.

As I looked down, I saw that one; she wasn’t wearing a bra, and two; her nipples looked like they were trying to rip through the thin t-shirt she wore as she moaned while my hands started easing her sore shoulders.

“God, that feels lovely.” Elspeth sighed as my hands worked the knotted tissue.

“Close the damn book and lay down.” I told her, knowing she needed to relax.

I pulled her top off so I could work directly on her skin. Taking out some lotion, I pinched, pulled and rubbed, until she sighed and started drifting off. She would moan and groan as my hands found every knot in her back and worked it out.

After fifteen minutes, I started worrying about if she could feel the moisture that was leaking out of me. That didn’t stop me from rubbing though. After I heard her soft breathing, I lay next to her and continued to rub her neck as she turned and sighed. Without realizing it, I to started to doze.

My internal clock had shut itself off. I woke up feeling warm and snuggly. I felt her small hand cupping my breast, and instantly wanted to bolt awake. The back of my neck was being tickled by her soft breath and my stomach clenched in response to feeling her nipples poke me in the back. We both jumped when someone knocked on our door.

“The bus leaves in five minutes.” One of the councilors called through the door as she made her way down the long hallway.

Elspeth and I didn’t have time to be shy and nervous and we jumped out of the bed and scrambled to get ready to go back to work. We grabbed the scrubs they gave us and pulled them on. I tossed Elspeth her bra when I saw her tits wiggle indecently in front of me. I didn’t think she wanted to give everyone at the center a free show. The bus driver and lead teacher were tapping their toes as we came running down.

“You’re late!” They hissed in unison.

“Sorry, alarm didn’t go off. We were studying late.” I said as we jumped into our seats.

“In the real world, that won’t cut muster. You have to learn to be responsible or you can and will be fired.” The lead teacher lectured us as the bus pulled out. Elspeth pulled her hair back into a ponytail and turned to brush out mine and pull it back so it didn’t look like a birds nest. Little did we know how bad of a day it would turn out to be.

Everyone has had one of those days every now and again. No matter what we tried to do, it just ended up going wrong. I ran over the toes of one of the doctors with a full mop bucket. I spilled mop water behind the nurses’ station, shorting out one of the monitors. Elspeth walked into a room and found two of the faculty members occupied doing the nasty in an empty bed. They didn’t even pause as she went running out.

The straw that broke her back was when she went to see one of the people she had become friends with. She hoped the old woman could lift her sprits. I didn’t know it at the time, but she had a lot on her mind and she had let the woman into many of her secrets.

I was called to the nurses’ station STAT. I ran up worried that I might have done something else wrong. “Yeah…?” I gasped out of breath.

“You need to find your companion. We think she locked herself in one of the stairways.” The shift supervisor said quietly.

“What’s wrong?” I asked catching the feeling of dread.

“One of the residents passed away during the night. We try and warn new girls, but it still happens. They become attached. We didn’t have time to warn her before she found out.” She said kindly. “I know you guys are having a bad day. It happens to everyone. I think she needs you.” She warned, as she handed me a key on a chain.

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