The Panther – Chapter 5.

Amateur

Helen’s voice was calm, and under her tousled hair, there was a shy, almost inward-looking smile on her face. We had a shower, shampooed our hair. Then Helen just waited to be washed by me. As we caressed each other again, all the urgency of the day flowed away. Helen brought my clothing in from the living room for us to get dressed together. We had not yet found words save enough to talk about what we had done.Helen, however, managed to banish any after-the-fall feeling. Every one of her moves and gestures helped to maintain between us a warm afterglow of intimacy. As she put on her bra and slipped into her panties, jeans, and tops, she, at times, glimpsed and smiled at me. I was getting dressed too. She finished first.Assuming the mannequin posture from her earlier, tantalising striptease, she declared, “Well, what do you say? Transformation completed. Do I look like your innocent student again, Herr Professor? Should we get something to eat before we go to class?”Not waiting for an answer, she grinned down on me sitting on the seriously messed-up bed, turned, and went to the bahis siteleri kitchen.When I followed and took my seat at the table, Helen had bacon, eggs, toast, and a pot of tea on the go. It demonstrated that she was still an English girl at heart, that we were familiars, and that there was no need to ask or explain. Both of us were hungry, and we tucked into our meal in companionable silence. Then, however, Helen leant back in her chair, hugging her tea-cup in her hands, looked at me and asked, “Why you? You know now why it was me that wanted this but – why you, Ben?”Helen took it for granted that I understood. I could not be flippant. So, I answered, choosing to tell the unembellished truth: -“I was willing, no eager to follow because you, Helen, are a beautiful, intelligent, desirable, and sexually tempting woman. You showed that you wanted me. For me, that was a gift I could not refuse. In your honesty and directness, you were irresistible. I wanted you immediately, there and then in the car. I wanted you as much as I’ve ever wanted a woman. And I still do.”Looking at canlı bahis siteleri Helen, I sensed that my answer pleased her. There was the beginning of a smile, but it vanished as she mulled over what she should ask next. I thought she blushed when, her voice low, she asked, “Have you known other women like me? I mean, as lovers?”I could have responded by playing with the ambivalence in Helen’s question and ignore her desire to know more about the man she had, almost blindly given herself to in the hope that he would satisfy a long repressed longing.Today she had unreservedly embraced what we could be for each other: Partners in Sin! Helen knew that it had to be kept separate from her orderly, married life which she did not want to endanger. I needed, therefore, to put her mind at ease. I had to tell her honestly how I saw myself as a married man, a human being, and her illicit lover.So, I started by confessing that I was not an Alpha male. I had remained a virgin until the end of my teens. I was too shy and well-behaved to pressure girls, as inexperienced as I, into canlı bahis sex. After migrating to Australia when I was twenty, I had a succession of sexual relationships. They were all with exceptional women who were as attracted to me as I was drawn to them. I owe them much.With them, I learned to avoid nasty, ungratifying sex by never forcing myself uninvited onto a woman, never to fuck in anger, and never allowing myself to be humiliated by a grudgingly given charity-fuck with a disinterested partner. Such sex was not only not worth having, it was an evil that destroys joy, together with one’s self-worth and all loving respect and lasting desire for one’s partner.The women I met taught me that for good sex, the desire had to be mutual and strong. It was as much about the joy and ecstasy of giving pleasure as it was about being pleasured. Good sex was a dance beyond what a dance could be. It was the ultimate, shared, life-affirming celebration of ourselves through our now desired and desirable bodies. These women and I made love, explored, adventured, crossed boundaries. We laughed at and ignored the prissy folks that disapproved. Some things stopped us from considering a permanent relationship. As far as our sexual one was concerned, our difference in age and material considerations seemed not to matter.

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